The Mime that Never Was

I promised this story DAYS ago. I know, I know. I suck.

So, my coworkers are a little... "out of the box." They are all young and energetic and like most 20-somethings, they like to drink. Thus, on special occasions (birthdays, going away parties, holidays), they usually plan a bar crawl.

Except their bar crawls have themes. And their themes aren't normal.

So when a coworker told me he was having a bar crawl for his birthday, I expected odd. But nothing could have prepared me for... MIMES. Yes... as in the speechless men in white makeup.

But you can't just go as a plain old mime. You have to be something creative RELATED to a mime (confusing, I know). So, one guy was going as Frankenmime. One girl was going to be Hannah Mimetannah. Get it?

So I gave this outfit a great deal of thought. I made a long list of possible ideas (some of which were incredibly stupid). I showed the list to my mom and we brainstormed.

We decided the best and most logical idea was Marilyn Mimeroe. Basically, I would dress as Marilyn Monroe and then paint my face like a mime. Pure brilliance.

I was on a time crunch all week, so the morning of the bar crawl, I headed out to the store in search of a Marilynesque white dress. This = harder than it seems.

I clenched my teeth and ended up with a $39 Marilyn costume dress from the Halloween store. While I was there, I picked up some face paint and blonde hair spray.

I had to work that day, and since I worked until 11pm and the bar crawl started before that, I would need to leave straight from work.

So I did my hair. I took 2-inch sections of my long hair and pinned each section underneath itself. This resulted in a very odd-looking brown bob.

Then, as I was directing the 10 o'clock show, I heard the anchor on set talking about the bar crawl. She was discussing her outfit with a reporter. Then I heard it... "I had my outfit all planned out until they changed the theme." Wha??

Out went the text messages...
Me: "Did you guys change the theme for tonight?"
Friend: "It depends... what are you dressed as?"
Me: "A mime."
Friend: "HAHAHA"

I didn't even wait to hear what the new theme was (something to do with rich people or old people? I have no idea), because I was pissed. Apparently they had changed the theme just a day before and no one had bothered to let me know.

I skipped the bar crawl out of principle. They would have given me a hard time for not being in costume, and I would have been in a bad mood for spending all that money on my pointless dress.

So, against my will (mainly because the Halloween store has a no-return policy), I will be going as Marilyn Monroe for halloween. Yayyy.

All I can do is be extremely thankful that I hadn't sprayed my hair blonde and painted my face white before I found out about the change. Then I would have killed someone.